Saturday Mornings

Saturday mornings are almost always a big food deal in the Garner house. When we are here we make a big breakfast. It usually includes eggs and meat or fancy pancakes (and lots of them) or sweet rolls or biscuit. I was thinking last night how I will miss this. But then Dan reminded me that he would make me my pancakes this morning--such a sweet man! I could use my lean & green meal, but I don't want to start my day with that. It's such a great finale to my days right now.

Things are changing. Dan and I have spent more time together this week. We're turning off the TV and turning to reading or talking. It's so much more peaceful. I feel like I'm spending more time with my kids as well. My mind says, "Find something productive to do for the next two hours and then take a break with your next meal." It's better to say busy. And busy is so much better, in the end, than my old lazy ways. (Remember this, Julie!)

One thing has been difficult this week. My small group is planning a Christmas Party for this coming Wednesday night. It's a chocolate fondue party. Ugh! I'm honestly not worried about going since I will be with Dan and the hostess knows about my eating plan--they will help to guard me. However, this entire week has been group emails about what people are bringing to dip in chocolate. Every day, a few emails will come saying things like, "I'm bringing pound cake" or "Bananas and pineapple are amazing in chocolate." I told Dan last night, "You know, this is when I wish my addiction were to alcohol. I think people respect the recovering alcoholic more than the compulsive eater."

It's true. Even if there was going to be alcohol at a party, I think the hostess would whisper to the recovering alcoholic, "There will be alcohol, I just wanted you to be aware." And then I think the alcoholic would be omitted from the continual emails about who's bringing the Whip Cream Vodka and who's bringing the Peppermint Schnapps. (Yes, I purposely picked two drinks that included food-like elements, because they're delicious!)

But a wise woman told me this week--No one will understand you. Not even people who have been there ahead of you. Because they aren't YOU. No one knows what tempts you or triggers you or goes on inside your mind. No one--except the Lord. He is the only one you can go to when you want to be understood. He is the only one who fully know what you need and can give you that.

I am thankful for all the support I have, but I realize this time that I MUST guard this with my life. Giving myself this chance has got to be my top priority. Not that nothing else is important--because clearly, there are other priorities in my life. But this must be guarded and protected. And no one can do that but me, with God's help.

We were invited to a Leadership Dessert Celebration at our church on Sunday night. We had RSVP'd yes, but we told them this week we weren't planning on going. Flee temptation... You know, it feels really good to say "no." Who knew?