I am a total people-pleaser. I work really hard to always look inwardly at how I can be growing and changing...become a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, follower of Christ. It's hard work, honestly. Tiring. Problematic at times, and at other times really a great asset. I'm very aware of people's feelings and perceptions. My intuition is quite in tune and my radar is always up.
I love it when people like me, when they think what I have to say is valuable and important, when they agree with me, when they compliment me. I don't love it when someone disagrees with me, talks behind my back, confronts me harshly to my face (or over social media--which is sometimes worse, because people feel like they can say whatever they want to say as if because it's on social media it doesn't hurt like heck).
I don't love it when someone belittles me, ignores me, puts me off, or just doesn't like me in general. These kind of things doesn't usually make me feel anger, they makes me feel hurt or sometimes guilt or shame or misplaced trust. (You get what I'm saying?)
When people aren't pleased with me, I long to be comforted--and not by other people, but by food. But food is not comfort, my friends. Going to food for comfort is like sleeping with the enemy. Someone made me feel bad, so I gravitate to food which makes me feel worse in the end.
Blog Readers, how do you guys handle criticism, character attacks or the loss of friendship?
What are some healthy ways for the people-pleaser to move through life? Any thoughts?
By the way--nothing particular has happened to me recently to provoke these thoughts. I've just been thinking...
"Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful." 1 Cor 1:27
You really want 2 bits?? I'll give you two bits. There are times when I get really down and start dragging something around I did not ask for! I really do not like being miserable, so sometimes, I turn the page. It freaks Joel out when I do this. I refuse to think about it. What helps me do that? Write it all out a piece if paper, something private. Writing can work like a catharsis. YOu have told it to someone other than you everlastinglypatient husband. It's done. Make a job list and a time limit. Go for a walk every day, some place you like. Know what you are going to do next. Plan what to eat and eat often. Don't leave out grazing food. Put other things in your head. Read. Listen. Be proactive. There are always slumps. Don't let them keep you from getting back up again. Take a nap when you need to. There, you have it!
ReplyDeleteDearest Julie, this is a beautiful post. Truth and heart. I hope I am always in the category of people who build you up, never tear down. You have my heart, always. Oh, these miles between us. Maybe our mansions will be adjoined in heaven? Love always, K
ReplyDeleteDearest Julie, this is a beautiful post. Truth and heart. I hope I am always in the category of people who build you up, never tear down. You have my heart, always. Oh, these miles between us. Maybe our mansions will be adjoined in heaven? Love always, K
ReplyDelete