Reflections o Week #23: A DRESS!!!

 My inspiration!  Without Audrey, I wouldn't be doing Take Shape for Life!

This will be quick.

I wore a dress for the first time in at least 15 years this week.  I didn't even wear a dress on my wedding day because of my weight!  And...I WORE A DRESS!!!!

I do have a picture of me and my friend Lisa at a party together--and I am in the dress.  I will post it soon!

Here it is!

Oh, the faithfulness of our Lord and Savior!  He is my rock and my salvation.  I never want to forget that this is ALL because of Him and that my goal isn't just to get healthy--it is optimal health for the glory of God!

Reflections on Week #22: Don't Despise...

Don't Despise the Process.

Say it with me.  "Don't despise the process."

What does it mean, you ask?

It means, that God is ALWAYS at work.  ALWAYS up to something bigger than what we can see.

I think about all the tears I have shed about my weight (especially my inability to lose it) over the years.  How painful was THAT?!  I think back to the 300 pound woman.  How hard everything was.  How sad it made me.  How much my body hurt.  My heart hurt.

I think back to all the weight loss attempts.  The crazy diets.  The extremes.  The excessive working out.

I think back to all the talking about it.  The praying about it.  The swearing about it (that one was for you, Sara Rankin!).

It was so difficult.

But look what God has done!!!  He had a bigger purpose.  It was to bring Him glory.  This is how He received the most glory--to cause me to walk through all of the other things and find no answers.  To leave me without any option but to say, "Lord, I can't go anywhere else.  Carry me where you want me to go!"

And He did carry me.  And now I'm helping other people to follow a specific path for their lives as well.  A path toward health for the glory of God!

How can I look back on all of those years and all of those failed attempts and all of that heartache and be anything but grateful?  It was part of a process God used to get me here.  I would be wrong to despise it.

We had another instance this week that was similar.  God used a very difficult situation to get us where He wanted us with schooling for our children next year.  It was another reminder to me that when I am faced with things that I would not desire, that I can trust God.  He is at work for a much greater purpose than that moment.  I can't despise the process.  I have to trust God and His sovereignty in my life.  Nothing happens to me apart from the divine hand of Love.  That's a huge lesson to learn.  And I'm thankful that God is teaching me this now.

This is so much greater than weight loss!  I love that.

Can't Eat Away Pain

This has been a hard weekend for me. I am away without Dan with extended family and I think even of all were great I would just want to eat. But we left at 4am yesterday and my schedule was out of whack and I felt like
Death from lack of sleep. To top that, I injured my back and it hurts to even breathe. I feel terrible. And I just want to eat. It's the first time I really just wanted to eat anything, and go fully off plan. But I didn't. Because food doesn't take away pain. It doesn't make family dynamics different. It doesn't cure our fatigue. Food is not the answer, even when sometimes it tries to tell us it is. Lies.

Reflections on Week #21

Well, I was tired last week because I was sick.  Being sick is no fun.  And I realized how much more tempted I was to eat.  "Don't feel good?  You deserve some crappy food!!!"  (NO!)

Once I recouped, the week was really about trying to tame a wild horse.  My coaching services have taken off like a jet plane.  Thanks to my awesome coach, Shirley, I think I am finally calming the fierce beast.

I just marvel at all of the blessings in our life right now.  We are so humbled and so grateful.

I don't ever want to lose site of the journey.  The path that brought me here, as well as the path that lies ahead of me.  I'm thankful for this blog, so that I remember how poor and broken I was when I started.  I can see that it would be easy to forget.  Which is crazy, since it was so pressing and life-sucking for so long.

Every pound I lose now is like a new journey.  I don't remember weighing these weights before.  I mean, obviously I did, but I have no memories associated with them.  It's kind of fun.

I wore a shirt this week that had a tag in it that said, "Large."  I'm wearing a size large shirt!  What?!  And it doesn't stop here.

I'm going to Pittsburgh for the weekend and we're staying where there is a pool.  I said I'd pack my swimsuit so I could swim with the kids.  "No you won't!" Dan piped.  "The last time you put that thing on it didn't fit you!"  Oh yeah--my swimsuit is too big for me.  (oops...better go shopping today!)  It's weird for me to go for things that don't fit me because they're too big.  For so long I thought I couldn't lose weight and would only just keep getting bigger and bigger.  Now, instead, I'm literally shrinking!!!

It's a really cool journey.  I'm so glad I gave myself this chance and that God had much bigger things in store than just weight loss.