What the Scale Can't Measure

Picture taken in August 2011

It's weigh-in Wednesday.  Isn't everyone excited to know how the week has been?  I know I was.

Here it is!  +1

No, you don't have to rub your eyes or question if I made a typo.  I am, indeed, up a pound on the scale.  I am not surprised, considering I was curious how my week was shaping up and checked my weight on Saturday.  On Saturday I was up 3 or 4 pounds.  So, this is a huge improvement, right? 

This has forced me to consider the question, "How should I respond when the scale isn't showing the results I love?"

Thinking on that led me to the path of thinking on things that a scale can't measure.  Like my post about my joints not hurting anymore.  We don't step on the scale and see, "Congratulations, your inflamed joints are being healed."  It would be nice if the message was so loud and clear, but for results that don't show on the scale, it takes more careful attention to our bodies and our emotions and our minds.

For example:

The scale won't tell me...

• That I am comfortable in pants and shirts that were formerly too tight for me to either get on or been seen in public wearing.
• That my hair no longer has a greasy shine to it, even after I just washed it.
• That I am sleeping like a rock and feeling rested during the day.
• That I have more stamina and no longer require my mid-afternoon snooze to make it through the day.
• That my mind and heart are fixed on Christ more as I walk through my days.
• That wild horses couldn't drag me off my plan--no, not even vacation or holidays.
• That healthy, lean & green food tastes better than processed, sugary foods.
• That there are more than one reason to do this and all of them have their place: freedom from sin; optimal health; and vanity.  The scale appeals mainly to vanity, because look at all these other results!
• That I can be satisfied on so little food because of it's amazing quality and composition.
• That my cravings are all-but gone.

Let's see...I'm sure I could keep listing more and more.  And I will.  In the days ahead.

So you may be thinking, "Are you discouraged by your weigh-in?"

Not at all.  Our weights will constantly ebb and flow, even when we're doing exactly what we need to do.  That's all I'm responsible for--doing what I know is right.  And I've done that.  And THAT feels good!  And this perspective reveals a very huge heart-change, which also can't be measured on a scale.

Where Are My Aches and Pains?

At Longwood Gardens in September 2011

Many positive results cannot be measured on a scale.

Walking down the stairs today I realized, "Hey, my knees don't hurt!"  I've been noticing that many of my old aches and pains are disappearing.  I've had foot pain for years now and couldn't ever walk for a very long time in any shoes other than my sneakers or not only would my feet inflame, my knees and ankles would as well. 

Last September I went to Longwood Gardens for a day with a group of friends and had a blast.  But I paid for it for days to come.  My joints were so sore from the walking.

I always thought it was my weight.  I mean, I am seriously obese and have been like this for years.  If I were my feet, I'd be begging for mercy too! 

I'm thrilled that I've lost 25 pounds, but I'm still not back to the weight I was even a year ago.  So, those 25 pounds could not have made all the difference.  I HAD to find out why I am feeling so good all of a sudden.  Does diet really make such a huge impact on our bodies and the way they respond?

The answer is: YES!

Here is a link to an article entitle: Joint Pain & Arthritis: Quieting the Inflammatory Noise.

In the article, Dr. Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, lists foods that she says are "hot" and can cause joint discomfort.  Um, these foods were part of my staple diet before Take Shape for Life!

I still have diet sodas.  And I do eat red meat, but ours meat is free of antibiotics and hormones.  If I had to take a guess though, I'd say that cutting sugars and white flours/processed grains has made ALL the difference!  I don't know, but I'm going to do a happy dance.  Because now I can!!!

Hot foods — avoid!
Fried foods Red meat from corn-fed animals raised with antibiotics and/or hormones Partially hydrogenated (trans) fats (found in margarine, chips, processed baked goods) Saturated fats (e.g., animal fats such as butter and lard) Corn oil, safflower oil, sunflower oil or soy-based oils Soft drinks, including both diet and regular soda and fruit juices All forms of sugar, including natural and refined White flour and other processed grains Most fast-food and prepackaged meals

What Am I Missing?

Remember the post about saying good-bye to my favorite foods (for the 100th time!)?

I took some time this weekend to think about what foods I'm really missing.

I thought.

And I thought.

And I thought.

Do I miss pizza?  Not really.  I miss the convenience of it, but if given the option of a pizza or a grilled chicken salad, I'd take the salad without any thought.

Do I miss Chinese food?  I mean, isn't there going to be Cheesy Crab Wontons in Heaven? And didn't I once say that I could eat Chinese food every day of the week?  Well, Dan wanted to stop and get some takeout the other night and asked if I would mind.  I didn't mind at all.  (Maybe it was the trip to the Asian Market that was fresh on my mind--blech!)

Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream?  I used to not be able to keep this in my freezer or I would eat all of it in one sitting.  Once, I was asked if I was deserted on an island what one food I would hope to have.  I said ice cream.  But now, do I miss it?  Nope.  Don't miss it.

Do you understand that I could not possibly have believed any of this when I started the program?  I had a literal "bucket list" of foods that I was certain I would grieve when I made this choice.  But I was wrong.  I don't even miss them.  I had a super unhealthy relationship with these foods and I needed to say good-bye. 

I think the makers of Medifast are brilliant!  I mean, honestly, I get to eat soft served mint chocolate "ice cream" and I enjoy a warm, gooey "brownie" every couple nights.  Then, there's the orange creme shake and the honey mustard "pretzels."  Yes, I know I'm putting things in quotes.  These aren't the same as eating the real-deal.  But they are really good! 

My palette has been transformed and it is AMAZING!

I love to cook.  And I love BIG flavors.  By having a cleaner palette, I'm able to enjoy the foods more the way God made them.  And, would you believe, God is totally into BIG flavors as well.  Some of the best flavors I've tasted in a long time are in the most REAL foods.  I had just been trained, like most Americans, to like artificial chemicals. 

Now THAT'S what I want to say good-bye to!  Good-bye, Chemicals!  Good-bye, forever.

Hey...I was reminded this morning that we never have fallen too many times, or too far into the darkness, that God's mercy isn't able to reach us.  We are loved beyond measure.  And I know that has nothing to do with my clean palette--wait, or does it?  I had fallen repeatedly and was in a VERY dark place when God carried me here to Take Shape for Life.  And this satisfaction and success is ALL His mercy to me.  I am so loved!!!

My First Reward

Today is my 7th wedding anniversary. I am definitely married to my very best friend. Last night his parents kept our children overnight so we could go out for dinner and to see a movie (we saw "Courageous"--fabulous!). I love that I could eat dinner out. I got a fantastic grilled chicken salad and was so satisfied when I was done. I loved laughing with Dan and talking about plans for the upcoming year.

I got up this morning and made a big batch of pancakes for breakfast. Enough that we would have leftovers for Sunday morning breakfast, which always needs to be quick before church. Thanks to the amazing Medifast foods, I was also able to have pancakes. When I make the Medifast pancakes, I've started making more than one packet at a time. I put the rest in the fridge and it makes for something quick, easy and tasty for another meal later.

After breakfast, guess what we did? Went to the mall where I got to pick out my first "Twenty-five Pounds GONE!" bead for my bracelet. See it? It's the awesome white one with the stripes. I think it's called Grey Wolf. But I call it "Blessing!"

While at the jewelry store, I also eyed up a few other beads I want for the future. So awesome!

We then headed to the Asian Market. Our first time. Ummm...unless I need something specific, it might have been my last time. Let's just leave it at that. Interesting experience. And much more laughter.

Then for a late lunch at Ruby Tuesday where I enjoyed a sirloin steak, three little shrimp and veggies. You really have to be specific when you go out to eat. With each thing we ordered we said, "And please don't use any butter on that." Finally the waitress said, "Do you have a butter allergy?" I wanted to say yes. Dan simply said, "It's for health reasons." I have to commend our waitress though. We had ordered the spaghetti squash and she came back to us to tell us that it is already roasted ahead of time--in butter. That was nice of her. I can't overemphasize the importance of being insistant about your needs. Most resturants will cater to them.

Then we picked up our beautiful children and had a fun evening together.

I don't usually talk much about food and eating on here, but I wanted to mention all the eating out because I am SO thankful that I am able to go out and live a normal life while doing Take Shape for Life. Here's the thing though--my tastes have changed. I am VERY happy eating my lean and green food. AND...I am MOST happy when I get to prepare it myself. Both Dan & I agreed that we used to LOVE restaurant food. We ate out several nights a week. But now, we would much rather eat our own food. At a restaurant the food is over seasoned and salted. And often the quality isn't as good as we have been using. Plus, it costs so much more money! So, eating at home is honestly a win/win. But it sure is fun to be able to go out on occassion. The best part of the meals I had this weekend? The company. I am so blessed by my husband!

Think on What is True about the Future

I'm a worrier.  I blame my mother for this. (It's true, Mom!  And you understand why.)  She is a self-proclaimed worrier.

I used to lay in bed for hours and "think."  That's what I would call it.  "Thinking."  But it was really worrying.  Fretting.  Fearing.

• What if my house burns down in the middle of the night?  Do my children know how to escape?  Do I know how to escape?
• What if God takes my children from me? Or my husband from me?
• Why isn't my friend talking to me?  I wonder how it will go when I see her/him tomorrow for the first time since the silence.
• When will I receive my cancer diagnosis?  Will I be afraid of dying?  
• What if I'm in a car accident?  What if Dan is in an accident?

I mean, you get the idea, right?  And those are just the big things.  I get frantic about details as well.

• Did I put everything on my list that I could possibly need for vacation?  Did I forget anything?
• What if I am asked to coordinate that event?  How could I do that with the most efficiency and excellence?

It really requires a lot of mental exercise to juggle so much concern.  And I didn't even mention some of my bigger concerns over the last few years.  You might have felt some of them as well...

• What if I just keep gaining weight?  Is this how I will die?
• What if I try to lose weight again and just can't?  Will I just fall into the pit of despair?
• What if everyone around me loses weight and I just keep getting bigger?  What if I can't walk up the stairs anymore?  What if I can't sit on that chair?  What if I can't fit through that space?  What if I get there and I can't do all that walking?  What if...

Last night I was reminded of a powerful truth through Elizabeth George's book, "Loving God with All Your Mind."  I can't say it as well as she did, so I will simply quote her:

Oh, dear friend, whatever your 'what if' is, you must remember that 'what if' is only a guess.  If you want to overcome your fears, you cannot think 'what if' thoughts.  Instead, in obedience to Philippians 4:8, you and I must acknowledge that events in the future are not real.  We must eliminate this kind of speculative thinking because thoughts about the future are only guesses.'

Furthermore, the future is in God's hands--His loving, capable, merciful, powerful hands!  He can enable us to deal with what is real, with what is now.  And, the truth is, He will also be with us whatever the future holds.  Lo, He is 'with you always, even to the end of the age' (Matthew 28:20)!  Yes, we need to be prepared for things like earthquakes.  And yes, we need to be wise about our finances, our parenting, and our health.  But we don't need to waste energy worrying about what is not yet real, about things that may never come to pass.'

God  calls us to handle each day, one at a time.  TODAY is real, and, beloved, God will enable us to deal with what today holds.  THAT is what's true."

Living Proof

Today, I received an email from a dear friend.  Included in the message was this video and these words, "I know this is completely sappy but this song reminded me of your journey."

After listening to it, I couldn't agree more on so many different levels.

I cried and cried when I watched it.  I don't know if I was crying more from thinking about all God had done in my life or from watching clips from the movie "The Help," which is definitely one of the best movies I've seen in a very long time.  Either way--I cried.  Which, in and of itself is quite amazing.  I've stifled and shoved back tears for a long time.  I've loathed my sensitivity at times.


Just this week I found a document I wrote entitled, "What Are You Afraid Of?"  In it, I detailed the worry and fears of my life.  These lines stood out, particularly, as they were the grand finale of my thoughts.


So, what am I afraid of?  
That if I cry, I might never stop crying.  
But if I don't cry, I will continue to let anger grow inside me. 

The End.  

And...so, I chose to not cry.  And anger did grow inside of me.  

I have been faced with many demons in my life--as Mary J. Blige says in this song: it has been a long, long journey; an up hill climb; a tough fight; and with lots of lonely nights.  Not just with my weight, but with my life and choices I have made and things that have happened to me--things that made me gain all of this weight in the first place.  But, I am living proof that the worst can be behind us and that we can FLY and be FREE!  Amen!!!!

It's Wednesday, which, as you know, means it is weigh-in day.  I have lost 7 pounds this past week, making my grand total in the first four weeks--ta da!--25 pounds! 

Who knew that could even be done?  I feel like I truly can do ANYTHING!  WOO HOO!!!!


The Living Proof*
 It's gonna be a long long journey  
It's gonna be an uphill climb  
It's gonna be a tough fight  
It's gonna be some lonely nights  
But I'm ready to carry on  

I'm so glad the worst is over I can start living now, ooh  
I feel like I can do anythin' and finally I'm not afraid to breathe  

Anything you say to me and everything you do  
You can't deny the Truth  (I added the "T")
Cause I'm the living proof  
So many don't survive  
They just don't make it through  
But look at me ooh I'm the living proof  

Oh yes I am thinkin' back life's been painful  
Yes it took a while to learn how to smile  
So now I'm gonna talk to my people oh  

About the storm oh about the storm  
Oh so glad the worst is over I can start flyin' now oh  
My best days are right in front of me  

And I'm almost there  
Cause now I am free

I know where I'm goin' hey  
Cause I know where I've been oh
I gotta few stars that showin' hey  
I'm gonna stay strong keep goin'  
That's the way that I will  

Nothing about my life's been easy  
But nothings gonna keep me down  
Cause I know a lot more today  
Than I knew yesterday  
So I am ready to carry on 

*Copied from MetroLyrics.com

Quality Counts

A year ago, my friend Melody told me that she started ordering from a company that provides restaurant quality, top grade, portion-controlled, all-natural (read: no hormones and other junk!) meat.  We decided to call and find out how the program worked.  Let me just say, Five Star Home Foods is "Da BOMB!"

This is a picture of our freezer after a delivery.  Isn't it awesome?!

We knew when we placed our first order that we wanted to start eating better.  But, I didn't know that a year later I would be doing Take Shape for Life, where each day I would need to prepare a delicious lean and green meal for my family.

It has been a pleasure to go to my freezer and choose from some of the best quality, lean meats available.  Their flavor and texture are unbelievable! 

No, I'm not a walking....errr, blogging...advertisement for Five Star.  I just am posting about this today because we place another order tonight and I can't wait to get my new freezer full of foods in a few days.

Eating GOOD food has been just as important as eating HEALTHY food.  And, no, the two things are not necessarily the same for people.  We have splurged on items to make sure we are getting top quality meats and vegetables.  We've also changed the quality (and content) of the food we serve to our kids. 

Just say no to "High Fructose Corn Syrup."  That thing is NOT our friend.  Neither are saturated fats, trans fats, and lots of added preservatives.  In the end, quality really does count.  And, obviously, from my previous post, it doesn't have to break the bank.

Here's to quality meats!  Now...it's dinner time.  Let me go check my freezer and see what we're having tonight.

Cutting Pounds Is Cutting the Budget

WOW!  I just had to share this...

So, one of the biggest objections to ordering the food for Take Shape for Life was the expense.  We looked over it and thought, "Wow--this is NOT cheap, but this is what we need to do, so we will make the sacrifices necessary to make it happen."

I just looked over the past year's finances.  I added up our dining out catagory and came up with what we spent on eating out in on average each month.  And then I did the same with groceries.

This month I spent a TON of extra money at the grocery store buying food for the holidays and for baking cookies and providing meals for other people.  But guess what?  Even with the extra food that was purchased...and even after placing my big ol' Medifast order...we actually saved a little money on our food budget this month.

Can't wait to see how this plays out in the future months.  I'll keep you posted. 

But I don't think anyone can use, "I just can't afford it" as an excuse to not make this change if that's what they need to do.

Reflections on Week 4: Eating Discontentment for Dinner

So, it's been 4 weeks since I started.  I can't believe it.  It has gone really quickly.  Which is good.  That means I'm not hating every minute of it.  Quite the opposite.  I like it.

I made the banana pudding this afternoon and then put it in the freezer for a few hours.  YUM!  It was like a little banana Italian ice.  It's fun to find new things to do with the Medifast foods.

So, the biggest thing about this past week--other than I made it through the holidays without cheating at all!!!--is that I have been faced with my own discontentment.

I was mad again today.  Mad that this is the last day of Dan's vacation and that it didn't feel much at all like a vacation to me.  I still had to cook and take care of little people and hubby was on a "we're clearing out the basement and getting rid of all of our stuff" kick.  The laundry still piled up.  The toilet still needed scrubbed.  The dishwasher needed to be emptied and refilled more than usual.  The coffee pot was always empty.  Someone was always being too loud or crying about "who took what and wasn't sharing" or because "I left the paper airplane in the house and I wanted to take it with me in the car!!!!" 

I'd like to say, "Calgon, take me away!" but have you seen my bathtub?  Gross.  We live in an older house and the drain doesn't drain properly--so even after I just spent a half hour scrubbing on my hands and knees, the second someone uses it...there's the same filth I thought I had just washed away.  Blech!

When I was cooking today, all of the baking sheets fell out of the cupboard because we don't have ample space in our kitchen to store all of my very essential cooking apparatus!  (I might have cursed when this happened--but, for sure the cat scurried away like a black streak.)

I don't count my blessings.  I just don't.

Three years ago we were looking for a house and were repeatedly heart-broken when our offers were rejected or the finances didn't work out.  Then, miraculously, God provided us with this beautiful little home.  And I complain about it every single day.

I was single for 33 years.  When I was 26, I met this amazing man named Dan that I fell in love with almost instantly.  For seven years I wanted nothing more than to be married to this kind and gentle man.  Then, he finally asked me to be his wife and on Saturday we will celebrate our 7th anniversary.  Still, I get mad at him and frustrated about things he does or says (or doesn't say).  I never wish I would be married to anyone else, but I can be ungrateful for the wonderful man God gave me.

And then the children...Well, I was 34 years old when I held my son in my arms for the first time.  It was the most profound and miraculous moment of my life.  I never thought God would bless me with children.  And then, there was Kate.  Oh, how I wanted her.  I couldn't wait to get pregnant again after having Jude.  But now--I am so easily tempted to anger with them or boredom with their play or impatient with their childish ways.

In all of these things, my default comfort has been food.  But it's time to eat discontentment for dinner and be done with it.

What are some fun and inexpensive things you like to do with your family? (Remember, our children are currently 3 & 5)


What do you like to do for fun?


How do you remind yourself of the truth when you're faced with your own discontentment?


I want to count my blessings instead of complaining.  I want a more thankful heart.  I think this is a big part of the journey for me in my goal toward optimal health and glorifying God with my body.

Welcome to the New Year!

My Take Shape Pantry--which is starting to get organized.  This is my safe cupboard where anything is up for grabs--choose one every 2-3 hours, five times per day!  Love it!  Notice the brownie and the soft serve ice cream vying for center stage.

When I was thinking of starting Take Shape for Life, I asked Shirley (who is now my health coach) if she thought I would just be setting myself up to fail if I started before the holidays.  I mean, in the past, the holidays would have just been a great excuse to exercise my food addiction in front of the world.  Don't we all love to overeat and blame it on "the holidays"?

Shirley said, "Well, would you like to go into the holidays down 20 pounds by the New Year or would you like to start the New Year with an extra 5-10 pounds that you'll need to lose?"

I chose to start it with the 20 pounds down.

The only problem is...Shirley was wrong.

Today is January 1 and I thought I would weigh myself, just to see what my weight was on the first day of 2012.  As of today...

I am down TWENTY THREE* pounds.  

HOOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAA!!!!

Take THAT, Holiday Binging!

My 2012 will be like Shirley's 2011.  Yesterday she said to me:
Your 2012 will be like my 2011. I started the year saying that I thought it would be quite a year. It was, but I couldn't even imagine how wonderful it would be, in more ways than I could have dreamed.

It's great to have a coach that understands where I have been, who identifies with the tears that have been shed and the hopelessness that had overcome me.  It's also great to have her example of how TSFL really does work and does change lives.  She is an inspiration and I am so grateful that God brought her into my life for this time.  Love you, Shirley!  Thanks for all you've already helped me accomplish.

And, much thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ for His unbelievable love for me. This truly has been OUR journey from the very start. He led me here when I was unable to even get up out of the mud and mire of my own life.

So much more to experience in 2012....can't wait!

*Not my official weekly weigh-in, as my weigh-in days are Wednesday--but sure is fun to know!