Overcoming "Rose-Colored Glasses Syndrome"

Is anyone else tired of comparisons?  You know, looking at other people's lives and wishing it were your reality?  In this day of social media, it's easy to catch glimpses of well-behaved children, super-hero moms, perfectly decorated homes, financial prosperity, adorable pets, fabulous wardrobes--shall I continue?

What I've found is, what we often see is NOT reality.  We only get to see what other people allow us to see.  Especially over the internet, but even in our face-to-face relationships.  

I blame Dan & I of having "Rose-Colored Glasses Syndrome." (Henceforth, referred to as RCGS) People struggling with RCGS do a lot of complaining behind closed doors.  They're fed up with their life, their spouse (or lack thereof), their children, their job, their finances, their friendships, their home...but when they get together with others, they paint rosy pictures about life and make everything seem better than fine.  We have had this chronic disease for as long as "we" have been a "we."  Life for the Garners is rose-colored-wonderful!  (NOT!)

What is the cure for RCGS?  Is there one?

Yes.

It starts with abandoning the notion of comparison.   And that's hard to do, since we've learned to compare ourselves starting at a very young age.  Living life honestly is very hard to do, because it requires acceptance of who we are and the reality of our lives.  

But acceptance doesn't mean settling.  Acceptance just means grace, really.  Having the grace to face the truth of today.  And the grace to have courage to take the next steps.

So, here's the deal.  I'm going to be honest with you.  

• I don't look in the mirror and get excited about what I see looking back at me.  I see every flaw, every imperfection, every bulge...at the expense of seeing any beauty.
• I love my children, but some days I don't really like them.  And many days I'm tired of being a mom. (See my Julie & the Whale post if you missed it!)
• I love my husband and I married my best friend, but most days we feel like two ships passing in the night.  He comes in the door and sometimes I forget to look up and say hello.  We certainly don't romantically greet one another with affectionate kisses and loving sentiments.
• Our love-life has been overtaken by our role as "Mom" and "Dad"...and we don't go on regular date nights.  Romance?  Well...we have high hopes for it again one day.
• My health journey is not perfect.  I'm a total sugar addict.  Sugar is like meth to me.  I've had wild success, but there is a lot of struggle and pain in the journey that isn't easy to share.  I lose weight.  I gain weight. 
• I wish I had never created a rap video, because it makes it hard to live up to what everyone (even strangers) now expects of me.
• Some days I don't like being a health coach.  It's not all happiness, it can be very hard work.  It hurts not to know how to help people you love.
• We have had the worst year of financial setbacks we have ever had and some days it feels like we will never emerge from the pit of debt and never-ending bills.
• Our puppy peed on our bed--twice.  He's cute, but sometimes he makes us really mad.
• I had to cancel a bus trip that I spent MONTHS planning...and I felt like a total loser, even though I couldn't possibly control the weather.  I let other people's responses drag me into a bad place. 
• I have panic attacks sometimes.  And I live in a constant state of anxiety, at varying levels.
• I get depressed.  Not just sad.  Depressed.

The Rose-Colored Glasses are officially OFF.

So, maybe you've been thinking about what it might be like to work with me as a health coach.  Well, there's something important for you to know.   

I'm NOT perfect.  If you're looking for someone who has never strayed from healthy eating, who has perfectly gotten to their healthy BMI, who knows the habits of health inside and out, who applies healthy habits to life every day, who always knows exactly the right thing to say, who has never gained any weight back, who coaches with 100% consistency....well, then I'm not your coach.

But if you'd like to walk alongside someone who knows a little something about bring imperfect, but who is willing to make imperfect progress...

If you don't mind someone who knows what it's like to fall down (hard) and still get up...

If it doesn't bother you to share the journey with someone who sees all the imperfections and still sees HOPE and JOY and BLESSINGS and FREEDOM.  

Then, here I am!

I'm just recovering from RCGS.  I'm ready to stop comparing myself to others and to start living the life I was given--with gratitude for the millions of gifts and blessings I truly HAVE been given!

I'm an imperfect wife, mother and certified health coach (through Villanova University's Center for Obesity Prevention and Education).  I help people reclaim health in their lives through walking alongside them through weight loss and building habits of health.  I am a regular person who has tried and failed many times in my life.  I happen to have successfully lost a lot of weight, and continue on my weight loss journey even now.  My services are free to those who want to walk this path with me.  I am blessed, honored and grateful.  Feel free to contact me.