More Than You Could Hope or Imagine

* results vary. typical results 2-5lbs the first 2 weeks, 1-2lbs each week thereafter

www.jgarner.tsfl.com/explore

It really is about dreams coming true, Friends.  In Dan's words...

Julie, when I was single and pictured who my future spouse would be, I always pictured someone who would go hiking with me.  Someone who would be fit and active. But I also knew I wanted to marry my best friend--and that was, hands down, YOU. I was aware that marrying you meant also giving up those dreams, but the things I was gaining in having you as a wife were far more significant to me than a hike up a mountain.  I knew that your weight could affect our marriage and that I needed to realize that there was no guarantee that you would ever lose the weight...in fact, it was probably more reasonable to believe that you'd gain more. But you were my best friend and the person I loved more than anyone else and I would lay down my life for you.

At this point, Dan started to get a little choked up. Two weeks ago, while camping at Camp Swatara, our family hiked together for the very first time.  We went up the easy part of the trail first and stopped at a primitive tree house, which I dared to climb despite my fear of heights. (I will no longer be ruled by fear!)  Then we kept on going up the trail, which got progressively more difficult as we neared the the rock pile.  I wasn't huffing and puffing or aching and dreading my decision to go on the hike.  I was LOVING it!  I felt GREAT.

As we were coming off the trail, Dan continued, you were ahead of me with the kids and I had this moment that was very emotional for me.  I had put the dream of having an active life mate to death--but God didn't.  He raised that from the dead.  He gave me something more than I could ever ask or imagine. This is really happening.  I'm watching you be transformed right in front of my eyes.

This really is about dreams coming true.  It's about not being afraid and taking steps of faith and watching the power of God at work in our lives!  I am so thankful for Take Shape for Life and to the Lord for giving me that wonderful tool.  I will never be the same.  WE will never be the same.  And we haven't even begun to see all that still waits for us--because the best is yet to come!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us...to Him be the glory, forever and ever.  Amen.  Ephesians 4:20

Promises for a Hope & a Future!

Whatever your circumstances today, God has a plan for you! And his promises are as sure as the sun rising and setting on your day. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 

If you see anything in my life, let THIS be the testimony! He has never left me. He has always had a plan. He still has a plan. And it is for HOPE & a FUTURE! The same promises are true for you.

I Am Redeemed!

I think this song is appropriate to go along with the post this morning about my weight not going down in the last several months.  How do I define myself?  My success?  My failure?  My health?

I AM REDEEMED!!!!  That's what I need to see more clearly when I look in the mirror.

Things Are Not the "Same"

Sometimes on our journey, there is a need to stop and rest!

I've been hesitant to talk much about my journey recently. I talk to Dan and I talk to Shirley, but I haven't talked much at all about things in a very public way. On one hand, I think I've needed this to be a little more introspective right now. On the other hand, I was thinking that sharing vulnerably about where I am might scare some people who really need HOPE. But that's wrong. I don't think where I am will scare anyone. I think it WILL being HOPE, because it is proof that what I've said all along really does stand true.

So, I know you're all wondering...how is my weight?! I haven't talked about it in months, right?

Well, it's the same. I haven't lost any weight in several months. Well...

I gain a few pounds, I lose a few pounds. So, technically, I've lost--but only the same pounds I gained.

'GASP' (I know)

"What's happening, Julie?! I thought you told me this plan works!"

This plan DOES work. And although my weight has stayed the same, things are not the same for me.

How am I processing this long pause?

I have hope. I have faith. I'm not afraid. Do I get frustrated about it at times? Yes. But that frustration doesn't undermine my faith. It's possible to wish that things were different while still accepting that this is where I am and that God has a plan for me.

The last time I weighed under 189 I was a young girl who was in a web of bad relationships. I was used by men, I was insecure, I had no direction for my life. It was over 20 years ago and I was lost in so many ways.

I am a woman now. A woman who is happily married to my best friend and the love of my life. I am strong and confident. I have succeeded at almost everything I have ever put my mind to doing. I am a lover of Jesus and secure in my relationship with Him.

But I have some things to work through.

I don't think God is going to let me cross 189 without doing some work. This is where the rubber meets the road. This is where I KNOW it is NOT about a number, it is about changing my whole life and having health in EVERY area. This is where it becomes about going deeper with God and walking into territory I haven't wanted to walk before.

I have long ago forgiven the abusers of my past. I could see any one of them on the street today and greet them with a smile and even a hug. I have no bitterness or even pain. But I don't want to live it all over again. I gained weight so that men wouldn't look at me and find me attractive. I was very comfortable being overweight and "unattractive"...well, not really. Now, it takes courage to be the woman I have always wanted to be, without fear that somehow the past will bite me in my new present reality.

So, I am working hard over here. But here's what hard work looks like...

Trusting God.
Praying.
Listening.
Being quiet in my soul.
Having faith, because God has NEVER left me in the past, and he will not leave me now.
Faithfully continuing to do the my plan, despite the results at the moment...because faith looks like eating health and I do what God wants for me even if it doesn't yield what I want.
Helping tons of people that God puts in my path every single day, because my hope doesn't come from a program...it comes from a loving God. (Though, the program is an awesome tool!)
Confiding in my husband.
Loving my children.
Taking one day at a time.
Believing that I am being fearfully and wonderfully transformed into the image of God, which is far more beautiful and important than the image I see in the mirror.

He has NEVER let me go. He will see me through to my goals for health. I need to remain faithful.

So, do I stay on the plan even when the scale doesn't budge? You bet.

In fact, I put the scale away for a short time. That thing doesn't define me or rule over me. I am a child of God, and my Heavenly Father will not disappoint me.

I keep walking this journey--and try very, very hard not to miss the beauty that is all around me.

Things are not the same.

He's Still the Same

My friend Jean has deeply impacted my life. Tonight she said she's been a believer for 60 years! The time in her life when she was most desperate for God was in the moment of salvation. And He was the same God who reached down and saved her then as He is today. He's still the same! "He didn't save us for this world, he saved us for the next!" Jean said.

No matter how we feel or what we think or what we believe...God IS faithful!

60 years of a woman walking with God just testified to it!

A Million Choices

Here's a free health coaching moment with Julie.  It is an honest depiction of how I talk to myself, and the way my coach has helped me to think differently about the choices I make.

How did your week go?

Well...I cheated.  I totally fell off the wagon.

I hope that you find this encouraging.

I'm a firm believer in the way we talk to ourselves.  Our words matter.  Whether we are speaking them to others or talking to ourselves.

Maybe...and I could be wrong about this, but I don't think I am...it would be more helpful to be honest about what has happened with your day.

When I think of my off-plan days as "cheating", I suppose I'm right--in that I have cheated myself.  But I think, in the past, when I've said I cheated it means something different.  It means I've done something sneaky and underhanded.  That the food called to me and I just couldn't do anything else.  Cheating gives the power to the food and strips the power from me.  Did I really cheat?  Hmmm... Sometimes I believed that I did, but read on.

I often hear others saying they've "fallen off the wagon."  What does that even mean?

Here's the picture it conjures up for me.  When I was a teen, I went to a summer camp that had a hay ride in the dark.  One of the things the driver would do on purpose was hit huge bumps that would make us all bounce all over the place.  As a group of teens, we'd all scream and squeal and hold onto each other in hopes that no one would fall over the side.  No one ever did.  And it sure was fun.

"Falling off the wagon" sort of implies that I was on a bumpy ride, holding on for dear life and the wagon knocked me off.  I'm a victim to the wagon.

But choosing to eat off plan is not the wagon's "fault"--the wagon has no power. 

I am an adult.  I make decisions as an adult.  The wagon doesn't knock me off, I chose to get off.  Right?  And that's nothing to be ashamed of or beat myself up over.  I made a choice.  I have the right to make whatever choice I want to make.  That doesn't mean all my choices are good ones though.

But when I accept that it is my choice, then it also empowers me to think differently.  It empowers me to SEE the choice in front of me and to be more deliberate about making it.

Perhaps this is a better picture:
There are two plates on the table--one has handfuls of goldfish crackers on it (or chocolate cake or the scraps of my kid's PB&J--you name it) and the other has all of my dreams.  I get to choose one plate.  (Hmmm...that makes those goldfish crackers seem a pretty lousy choice, right?)  And I can only choose one plate, because at this time in my life those two plates oppose each other.  The goldfish crackers, small and insignificant as they are, keep me from my goals and dreams.  Can you tell I'm speaking from my own very personal experience?  I wish I could say I didn't choose the goldfish crackers in that moment.  But I did.  And then, I realized how foolish that choice was.

When we see our moment by moment decisions as our choice then, even when we make a foolish choice, we know that we also have the power to make more choices--to boldly step back onto that proverbial wagon.

So, it is always my choice to go off plan.  But there's no reason to beat myself up for that.  I made the choice.  Thankfully, it isn't my LAST choice.  I get to make lots more choices.  And I can now choose to do what I REALLY want--to get healthy, to run with my kids, to wear that cute outfit, to get those high boots up over my calves, to live like a healthy person, to prevent myself from being diabetic or having heart disease, to be FREE to be the woman I was created by God to be.

I don't want to get to the end of my choice and see the words "Big Mistake"--but, even if I do--there are a million more opportunities to make a better choice.

How did your week go?

Great--I made a million choices, one at a time.  And I chose my dreams!

Conversations with Myself #1

 I'm discouraged today.  So, today is good time to go back and remind myself of how far I've come.  I'm going to post something I posted a week or two ago when TSFL came out with their new commercials entitled "Conversations with Yourself."  I had a conversation with THIS girl--on the beach in 2009.  This was not my heaviest weight.  I would gain about another 30 pounds or more before I found TSFL.  But here's what I would say to her, if I could go back and talk to her now.

If I could go back and have a conversation with myself before I had lost the weight here's some of what I would say: "Your smile is beautiful, Julie, but I know how sad you really are. I know how painful this beach trip was for you, both physically and emotionally. I know how badly you wanted to play with your kids and run in the sand, but how hard it was for you to even walk to the place where you could sit. You're scared to try one more thing and fail--I get it. We've tried so many times to be free from the burden of obesity. But, you CAN do this! There IS hope. You WILL find it through friends who will tell you about Take Shape for Life. You will meet your health coach who will become one of your dearest friends and mentor. It will be the easiest plan you've ever done. You will LOVE it. And what you will really love? That it will work. And you'll finally experience the freedom you've wanted. You WILL run on this beach. Crazy, huh? But true. Don't ever give up. Give yourself this one more chance."

I DID run on this beach this summer.  Our daughter got lost in the mobs of people and was missing for about 5 minutes.  When I was told she was found at the next life guard station I RAN to her.  Down the coastline.  Through the difficult shifting sand.  And I didn't collapse or feel fatigued.  I felt like a healthy person, running on the beach.  There is ALWAYS hope.  Even I need to be reminded of that! 

Self-Control: The Great Wall of Defense

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. -Prov. 25:28

I read Francine River's book "Rahab" a few years ago.  It gave an awesome depiction of the battle at Jericho.  What I distinctly remember was the emphasis on the city walls.  The city walls were also called the "Defensive Walls" and for good reason.  They protected the city from any outside dangers and harm.  If you wanted to conquer a city, you had to overcome the walls.

The walls around a city were tall and made of bricks and stones and mortar.  They were meant to be unpenetrable.  Men with weapons guarded the wall--and the city gate.  The gate was the only place for outside forces to enter.

In order for Joshua to conquer the city, he had to first conquer the walls.  And he did, didn't he?  Well--God did.  Joshua obeyed the Lord, and the walls fell down.  And then there was a massacre of great magnitude.  No protection was going to keep out the army that had one thing on its mind--VICTORY!

But here in Proverbs, we are told that the man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.  How extremely vulnerable and weak.  Worse than weak.  What is weaker than weak?  I can't seem to find a word for it.

We need city walls around our hearts and our minds.  We need them!  We need to keep the Enemy out and keep the goodness in.  We ought to desire to be protected by the Lord on all sides.  The only way in should be through the city gate.

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.  John 10:9

When I am lacking self control, I am very weak to the sin and temptations around me.  That weakness brings about a massacre of epic proportions.  I can't afford that!  Self-control isn't something I can muster up on my own.  As I said in previous posts, it is a gift that come from the Lord.  But it is a fruit of the spirit--a good gift.  And the Father doesn't give his child a stone when he asks for bread.  I need to plead for self control.  And I also need to exercise it.  It's like a muscle.  The more I use it, the stronger it becomes.

Day 3...again. Thankful for the Work of the Gospel

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.  -Psalm 139:17-18

It's Day 3 for me...again.  I'm so thrilled about it, too.  I am already feeling better and thinking more clearly.  I'm not in a fog anymore.  Whew!

Today I was at a party for Jude's choir.  I paid to go.  They served pizza, grapes and chips.  Nothing that was on plan.  It was okay.  I didn't NEED to eat it.  It didn't even matter that I paid for it.  I'd pay FAR more than $5 later for the effects of eating that pizza.

People say "oh, what self control you have!" or "your willpower is amazing."

I assure you, it is none of those things.

If I could muster up self control, I would have succeeded at weight loss long ago.  If my willpower were herculean, than I would never have gained the weight in the first place.  No, I am a weak creature.

Abstinence has been an important tool.  By being on the TSFL plan, the boundaries are very clear.  It literally is "Eat any of this...but do not eat any of THAT."  Sounds a little like the Garden of Eden, huh?  Clear boundaries are helpful, but we need not look further than Adam and Eve to realize they are not enough to keep us from sin.

I've been listening to a powerful radio broadcast by a man named Pastor Bill Cwirla.  It is about LAW vs. the GOSPEL.

Law is anytime we are instructed to "DO" or "DON'T DO" something. God's law demands perfection, unlike our man-made laws.  In God's law, there is no mercy.  The law always kills.  Mercy only came with Christ.  The law accuses, the Gospel acquits.  The law pronounced a sentence over us, the Gospel says, "Not guilty!  Another has been condemned in your place."

Law, in this case for me, is the 5 & 1 plan.   So, when I am given the 5 & 1 plan it says, "DO eat 5 Medifast meals and 1 lean and green meal.  DO NOT eat extra carbohydrates or sugars.  DO NOT eat anything that is not in the Quick Start Guide."  These are laws.  They aren't God's laws, but they are still laws.


I think, much like my inability to obey the entire law of God, I have nothing in me that can absolutely follow the law of the 5/1 plan.  So, how do I do it?

Each day I get up and exercise faith.  I ask God for help.

FAITH.  Where does it even come from?

From the Gospel.  From Christ who lives in me!!!

As Bill Cwirla says, "The Gospel creates the very thing that the law demands.  The law is the wrecking ball, the Gospel brings life and fruit and everything we aspire and hope for.  It's a creative work.  It's the power of God for salvation.  The creative work creates the very faith that it demands.  If the law says "believe" then you need to get about believing.  But when the Gospel says, "believe" it's like Christ saying, "I will be a light in your darkness.""

The Gospel gives what it calls for.  Whatever it requires, it gives.  It requires faith, but it creates the very faith that it requires.

To think that I could achieve this 110 pound weight loss on my own is absurd.  Even if I do think I'm following the best plan out there.  When I started this plan I was in the pit of despair.  The weakest of weak.  In the darkest of dark places.

And then suddenly there was a lifeline extended to me...and strength and light...

Where did those things come from?  From me?  Hardly.

The very faith required to take the steps came from outside of myself--it came from Christ!

So, please...don't think too highly of me.  What have I done?

It was not my will power that enabled me to turn away the pizza today.  It was the help that came from the Holy Spirit.

TSFL is an awesome plan.  It is definitely a wonderful tool from God.  It works!  And it works for believers and for unbelievers.  But I always want to be clear.  The reason I can walk in this way is not because I have any ability within me to do this thing.  This path was created for me and all that is needed to walk it has been given to me.  And, with that in mind, I ought to be much more thankful and humble.

Day 2...again

I like Day 2 so much better this time! It feels...cleansing.

Today I am sitting at the indoor playground watching my children play and run. Kids are so funny! They make friends easily and seem to never get tired. I want to be just like them.

A grandpa is sitting next to me with his granddaughter. He took her to Build-a-Bear and congratulates the little girl on being such a great mommy at her age. He told me that he became a great grandfather today and beamed about how he loves to spoil his granddaughter. I want to live to see my grandchildren. Lord willing, now I have a better chance of this!

I look around the mall and see so many people who remind me of myself. The woman waiting in line at Burger King, resting on the counter because she's so overweight...waiting for her biggie sized meal. I wish I could talk to her. Would she even listen?

There is a world out there that is trapped. Most of the people who are obese or overweight know it, but what can they do about it? It's not like this is what they wanted for their lives. This isn't how they dreamed they'd look when they grew up. Believe me, I know. But all attempts to change have been wrought with failure.

I want to say, "you can try one more time! What if I can assure you that if you follow this plan you won't fail?!"

But I don't get to have that conversation. Not today. Not with that lady.

I'm passionate about what I do. About helping others. I only wish I could help more people.